


Say No To This

by FallenAngelIsFalling



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Dancing in the Rain, F/M, Flashbacks, Hamilton References, M/M, Rain, Small reference to bullying, Unrequited Love, and blood, no happy ending, opse?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2019-05-04 01:25:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14581896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FallenAngelIsFalling/pseuds/FallenAngelIsFalling
Summary: Adam admits to Max what he truly feels.





	Say No To This

“You can have me.”  
  
The voice sounded as though it was just a whisper in the wind. That the person hadn’t truly thought about what was being said. The filter between their brain and their mouth had deteriorated over time. Leaving behind the raw existence that was him. That was Adam.

At this point he couldn’t think or begin to understand how they had reached this point in their conversation. The only thing he knew was that he had his heart laid out on his sleeves. Allowing the man to see all of him. The parts that he had deliberately concealed so that the other wouldn’t freak out. That he wouldn’t find out that his best friend was hopelessly in love with him.  
  
He hadn’t planned to tell him today. Well that was a lie. He had planned to tell him every single day since the age of 16, when the other threw himself into a fight to defend Adam’s honour. He could still remember the blood dripping from his knuckles and the sounds of fists making contact with the bullies’ bodies. Not hesitating for even a moment, only wanting to protect his best friend.  
  
After that he held himself back. Deciding it would never be the right time. Days where the two of them were playing games on the floor at three in the morning. The times where they were dancing like lunatics as they cooked dinner for them to share. The sleepy chats into the morning hours, saying loads but nothing at all. Always enjoying being in the others presence. Or the times where Max would blow off some of his dates if Adam was in a mood, wanting nothing more than his best friend to be happy.  
  
Max was someone that always he had something new to learn about; like how he learned that the man could eat three packs of oreos and still be desperate for more. Every day passing by with a new thing for Adam to cherish, something to store away for his daydreams later on. He felt blessed being able to get to know the layers of Max, appreciating every inch that made him up.  
There really wasn’t a second that passed where he didn’t consider telling him.  
  
The desperate feeling got worse when Max found himself a woman, someone that he actually kept around. A beautiful, stunning, incredibly kind woman. Someone that was everything that Adam was not. She had a laugh that could make people stop and listen to its melody. She was the type of person to go to social events and meet everyone there, making Adam believe that she hadn’t been rude to someone in her entire life. As much as he desired to hate her with every fibre in his bones, he simply couldn’t. She was just like Max. Perfect. They were a match that seemed to have been forged in heaven.  
  
This was the first time in weeks that it was just the two of them. No stunning woman attached to his best friend, no arms encircling each other and no moments of pure adoration. Just Max and Adam. Only one half being in pure adoration, whilst the other lived in a blissful state of naivety. Having no idea the cruelty that Adam went through every day to watch them together.  
  
They had spent the whole day in each other’s company. The morning being filled with mindless chatter as they went out for breakfast, Max being the gentleman he always was and paying for Adam. Then they spent the rest of the day travelling around markets that were littered around the streets. Both of them loving too many obscure objects, that Adam secretly wanted to shower Max in. Gifting him in all the things that reminded Adam of the man.  
  
And when the sky opened up and cried down on them, every single soul darted off for cover. Wanting to indulge themselves into warmth and not risk being caught up in an impending storm. Except those two.  
  
Another thing that Adam loved about Max, was that the man could make the best out of any given situation. Instead of wanting to duck and hide from the weather, he offered a hand to Adam. Playfully bowing and when he accepted the rough palm, Max made them dance in the rain. Swinging him around and forcing him to run up and down the empty streets. Not caring if anyone was watching from the nearby shops, just making them stamp around as though the world was theirs.

Feet pounded into every possible puddle, sending bursts of water up into the air. Adam jumping onto objects and Max reached up to spin the other around. Laughing loudly at the weight in his arms and carrying him to the next destination. It was if the two of them were on the same wavelength and the songs in their hearts were playing in both of their heads. As if they were intertwined.  
  
}When their chests were flared with pain and they could no longer catch their breath they finally parted. Adam instantly missing the feeling of his friend’s warmth, as though the rain had only then been noticed by him. He couldn’t contain himself in that moment as they stood only a few feet apart. It was then where he said everything that he felt for Max, all of it spilling out of him like a waterfall. He was surprised that his words were even coherent. That he wasn’t a mumbling mess that was begging for a shot with someone a million times out of their league.

As the rain drenched his clothing and clung to his skin like a second layer, he paid no attention to it as his heart weighed heavy in his throat. Water touched the tips of his knotted hair and dripped down at a rapid pace onto his flushed face. Concealing the tears that had traced down his cheeks as he was finally honest to Max, it dripping down the end of his nostril. Unsure if the tears were from happiness at the dance or fear of the unknown. The tip of his nose had become an unnatural red, showing to anyone who saw that he had been in the downpour for far too long.  
  
As much as it hurt to break the barrier between friend and potentially lover or hater, it was as if he was breathing for the first time since he was 16. That the secret he had hidden was killing him, cutting off the true feeling of happiness and that a bubble of only fear had been placed inside him. The honestly maybe destroy everything he had ever loved, but he couldn’t help but love the feeling of being himself. That he was finally Adam, that this is what he was.

His whole body was trembling with nerves; making him forget about the fact that his fingertips had become numb. The pounding of his heart was becoming a constant anthem under his skin. The strum of the beats made him dance on the tip of his toes. Rocking his entire body forward and backwards, showing the man before him that he was utterly desperate.

Standing before him was someone that he had willingly given his heart to. Beautiful brown eyes that stared at him with pure shock, staring straight into his soul; trying to determine the exact moment that he had fallen for him. Pretty pink lips forming an ‘o’ shape, his tongue weighing heavy in his mouth as he tried to make it form words. Wrinkles engraved into his forehead, each deepening with every passing second. Overall he looked completely confused, but Adam didn’t think that anyone could look so blissful. He wanted to surprise the man every day if he looked like this.  
  
A few seconds passed before the expression changed. One that Adam couldn’t describe, never actually seeing it aimed at him before. He could have wrote a million symphony’s about the subtle changes in the others features. The way that the glint in his eyes softened and the way that his lashes kissed the top of his rosy cheeks. The trembling breath that slipped for his lips and that his chest dropped slightly. The way that the wrinkles turned into little creases that looked oddly endearing on him.  
  
But he didn’t neglect to notice the way that the rain on him came down harder. It took a mere moment for him to realise that the beautiful gentlemen was weeping. That the wave of water on his face had nothing to do with the downpour. But with the emotions that was raging inside of him.

Adam couldn’t begin to understand if he was crying in relief or something else.

“I don’t want you.”

It wasn’t like the cliché that the world was crashing around him. It was as if reality broke. Everything seemed to freeze around him. The rain no longer dripping onto his shivering skin and the sound of the smacking of it on the ground, became nothing but white noise. His raging heartbeat had become silent, like it had truly given itself to Max and been tossed away. He was left alone with nothing but his thoughts. Adam’s eyes blurred entirely and he couldn’t make out the shape of the beautiful man any longer.  
  
But, nothing could compare to the choking sounds that were attempting to tear through him. He finally got his oxygen back, only for it to be taken away again. The other person was his fantasy bubble, and the reality of the situation had popped it. He was allowing the rest of reality to cave in on him and Max wouldn’t step in to save him this time, only allow him to drown in the sorrows that he was facing. He honestly couldn’t tell what was broken though. The world or him.


End file.
